old man

i've been toying lately with the idea of closing this blog or just letting it be with no updates. i guess i'm not writing that much and i also don't really understand what it's about anymore. maybe i did before or maybe i didn't care but now it makes little sesne to me. anyway i'll give it a couple more shots before i kill it.
today i want to write about an encounter i had yesterday in the library. a very old man, an archetype of anyone's grandfather or older father for that matter sat next to me. i was sitting on one of those long couches. i had my laptop on my lap doing some excel bullshit and he peered over my shoulder asking me if i mind. i didn't and i told him. i engaged him in conversation because i felt he needed it and in a way i did too. he was retired he said, had worked for bayer all his life, did i know bayer he asked, yes i do i replied and he cautioned me that they don't only make drugs. he worked in the pigment department making colour. he was a chemist. he is a chemist i guess. great company he said, he's from la and what's your association with nyu i asked. he said they had given him some sort of library pass because he used to do a lot of research at the library for his job and since he lives in the area he spent his time in the library reading. he asked about computers and the internet and if i like it and how google makes money. i explained as best as i could. he then said it was nice to meet me and he left. a bittersweet exchange leaving me unsure of how to feel. sad or happy, envious or afraid of the future. later that night i was leaving class and i saw him walking in front of me very slowly and with his cane. i considered saying hello but it was dark and i thought i better not. i passed him by.

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